Big dreams and the unconventional life

When I was a child, I dreamt of being a documentary filmmaker who would travel the world, writing stories about interesting people. I dreamt I would own a cottage with a garden and a conservatory where I would sit each morning, drink tea and read a book. I would not have an office job, but instead would make a living from my art and my writing. That I would live in nature and my loyal companions would be my animals, a dog called Hercules and a pig called Rain. 

Somehow, somewhere, I lost focus, and maybe due to religion or cultural conditioning, I had been told that you graduate from university, find a job and then a husband, children, and that becomes your life. 

So what did I do? I graduated from university, found a job and when I moved to Denmark and felt more settled. I chased that idea in my head, thinking this is what comes next, right?

I dated different people and analysed compatibility, but I realised I was not finding anyone I could truly see myself spending my life with. No one suited the kind of future I wanted for myself.

Like a pattern, I would meet someone, date them for two months and then find things I knew I could not live with. I realised that even when I had been in relationships, I had these feelings of being trapped, feeling exhausted from all the effort I had to put in. I thought to myself, maybe I’m non-monogamous, or maybe I want an unconventional life, and I don’t subscribe to the traditional idea of romantic relationships.

An Epiphany

At the start of 2026, I had this epiphany where I realised I was doing all the wrong things, I had somehow forgotten my ideal life, the life I had imagined and drawn out for myself as a teenager. 

A life that included adventure and contentment with being by myself. I realised I was chasing the wrong life. 

I also realised subconciously because my two older siblings were now married, I had put myself under pressure to find a life that was not mine. 

While having a conversation with my older sister, she said to me, “You’re so free-spirited, I never imagined you as someone who would have the typical conventional life. I always thought you’d do something different” 

I thought deeply about this and realised whether this was really what I wanted, or what society had told me I needed to have. This completely shifted my perspective. I realised that if my biggest achievement in my life were to become someone’s wife or mother, I would have completely failed my younger self, not because these were bad things, but because that was not the life I had dreamed of. 

And so today, I am challenging myself to take action to pursue the life I deserve. To make sure my dreams of being a writer, travelling the world and telling stories are not just dreams but become reality. And if I one day choose to have someone in my life, I hope they are not threatened by my independence, but instead complement it, just as I would complement theirs.